From the presentation to the Isocracy Annual General Meeting, March 25, 2026
As an Australian, I am acutely aware how the intersection between empire, colonies and our globalised world can be best exemplified in my country. The Commonwealth of Australia is the creation of the British Empire, the world’s most successful global colonial empire. And it wasn't a coincidence that this happened, redcoats had to travel halfway across the world, gun down the Wurundjeri and Bunurong people, for me to present to you. But before King and Country get upset and call what happened "settlement", a discussion of imperialism is in order, wherein I will define the qualities that make an empire.
Empire
Four thousand three hundred years ago, near the modern-day city of Hillah in Iraq, there stood a city called Akkad. And inside the clay walls and palaces of this city was a man history knows as Sargon. He established what is considered the world’s first empire. I would now like to recite to you some of the ancient inscriptions that describe him:
Sargon, king of Akkade, … king of the world … lord of the land
conquered the city of Uruk and destroyed its walls.
He was victorious over Uruk in battle, conquered the city,
captured Lugalzagesi, king of Uruk, in battle and led him off … in a neck stock.
Sargon, king of Akkade,
was victorious over Ur in battle, conquered the city and destroyed its wall.
He conquered Eninmar, destroyed its walls,
and conquered its district and Lagaš as far as the sea.
He washed his weapons in the sea.
He was victorious over Umma in battle, conquered the city, and destroyed its walls.
To Sargon, lord of the land, the god Enlil gave no rival.
The god Enlil gave to him the Upper Sea and the Lower Sea
so that from the Lower Sea to the Upper Sea, the citizens of Akkade held the governorships of the land.
Mari and Elam stood before Sargon, lord of the land
Sargon, king of the world, was victorious in 34 battles.
He destroyed their walls as far as the shore of the sea.
5400 men eat daily in the presence of Sargon, the king to whom Enlil gave no rival.